“Why are you downcast, oh my soul?” (Psalm 42:5)
The Psalmist must have written this in the seasons between Winter and true Spring. Or at least that is what I feel about this present season.
I am not a lover of Winter, but at least the snow was pretty.
It rained recently and so the snow is gone. As I take my walk, I slip and slide in the muck. My mind goes to the verses about God taking us out of the miry clay. Hmm, that could describe this season as well.
The shift of seasons….
Transitions….
The hurry up and wait….
These are the emotions swirling within me as I take my daily walk.
Truly, I have no reason to be so glum. I have such a blessed life.
Last month, I started a practice of writing down all that I am grateful for each day. It is the way I start my day. I also do a short meditation time with some music playing in the background. This helps to calm and still the racing thoughts in my head.
As I stand on the bluff, I ponder walking down to the river. I grumble as I realize that if I had gone the other direction the path would have been so much easier.
Decisions….
A heavy sigh….
Well, I am here now, so I might as well go ahead I tell myself. All the while I’m praying I don’t fall and get hurt. Again!
Oh yes, where is the beauty? Is that not my ‘mantra’ – this idea of finding beauty everywhere.
As I make it to the riverside, I pause now. The gentle flow of the river already is calming my mind and I already feel lifted up.
I look up at the grey clouds and suddenly see a small break in the clouds all the way to the beautiful blue I so love. I am reminded of a prayer prayed many years ago about the sky and God’s answer. More on that another time. But even now as I remember, I find myself smiling.
I have a tight time schedule today so I don’t stay long. I turn to walk back up the hill.
I see a glimpse of purple in the brown grass.
I draw closer….
Flowers…. A bunch of wildflowers!!
Look at them! It is almost like they are smiling up so pleased to be in full bloom.
Ah, there is the beauty!
Surrounded by brown deadish grass they certainly stand out!
I pause again and a song comes to mind, “Consider the Lilies”.
Now the verse also comes to mind:
“Consider how the wildflowers grow”, says Jesus, “they do not toil or spin, yet I tell you that Solomon in all his splendor – not even he was dressed like one of them.” (Luke 12:27)
My mind is reset.
The final steps back to the apartment are lighter somehow.
Smiling….
At peace….
Why so downcast in my soul? I took my eyes off the beauty. I forgot my own desire of seeking beauty.
Transitions….
Yes, it is not quite Spring yet no longer Winter. Today I have learned that even in this time of transition I can still find beauty.
“You will find me when you seek me with all your heart.”