If any of you are familiar with Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, then you are likely to be aware of the famous lines Juliet says, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by another other name would smell as sweet.”
So today I want to talk about how the name by which you are called may have an influence on your self-image and perhaps even your self-esteem.
When someone announces they are going to have a baby one of the common questions arises “Have you chosen a name?” It might surprise you to know that in my over 30 years of experience as a Maternity Nurse, many couples do not have a name ready when the child arrives. Some want to wait and look at the baby first to make sure that it looks like a “James” or “Olivia”. But in general, most will have an assortment of names chosen for various reasons.
Some people look at the meaning of the name. Some are cautious about what the initials might ‘spell’. Some give a name that is passed on from a previous generation.
Because the purpose of my blog is to share my story of my ‘transformation’ when it comes to my beliefs about beauty, I want to now share with you a bit of a story surrounding my name.
My parents believed in the importance of giving their children a name of someone that was significant within the family. My eldest brother received the first name of my mother’s brother who died in WWII, and his middle name is the family name that had been passed on from the previous generation. He was the fourth generation in Canada to hold that name. My second brother was given the name of the favored uncle of my father who also died too young, and he was given the middle name of a poet whose writing my mother enjoyed. My sister came next, and she was to be the last, so my parents got creative. Her first name was Rose after my mom’s mom and Anne after my dad’s mom and they spelled it Rosanne. Her middle name was my mother’s name.
As the story goes, when 4 ½ years later Mom was pregnant, the name John William was chosen – this incorporated my father’s name as well as my mother’s father’s name. However, when I was born, John William did not seem to suite a girl so “Jill” I became. My mother told me that I was named after a young teenager who often babysat my siblings. Her name was Jill MacKinnon and she died from meningitis quite suddenly just days before I was born. Apparently, the middle name was a bit of a struggle between my parents. My father’s choices were Jill Margaret or Barbara Jill. My mother was looking thru a book and saw a picture of Lake Louise (in Alberta) and so Jill Louise I became!
OK stay with me because you may be wondering – what does this have to do with redefining beauty?
My self-image was affected by my name. It is Jill. Plain and simple. And I often said to people, “no it is not short for Jillian – it is just Jill plain and simple.” Now I wonder 6 decades later how repeating “plain and simple” affected how I saw myself. When I looked up to see how popular Jill was in the year I was born it ranked 98/100. I don’t remember what source I would have used since Google was not even invented yet (yes, I’m that old ha ha). Well at least I made the list right, and I was not the ‘last’.
And here is the thing. My name “Jill” became so special to me when my mother said, “Your father loved that name.” (My father died when I was 10.)
One more point on names is this – in 1989 I did change my name to “Mama” (or Mumzie and Mum as my sons now call me). It was the sweetest name to hear (and still warms my heart to see in a message) until 2015 when I became “Nana” to our first granddaughter.
Ah yes, the power of a name. It can affect how we see ourselves. What does this have to do with beauty? Well, here is the thing: part of self-love is accepting the name you were given.
For me, when I think of the meaning of my name “Jill” (youthful spirit), I have to say it does spark something inside me. But more on that in another writing.
Until next time, remember this – you are like the rose of Juliet’s words – regardless of the legal name you carry – a rose by any other name still carries the beauty and aroma of the flower in full bloom!